I woke up this morning at about 4am and found it impossible to get back to sleep. My brain was itching. All these thoughts drifting in and out of my head, all these details left unattended to, all these plans and goals unrealized - not through any tragic turn of events, but through inaction. I had to ask my self some really tough questions and I wasn't liking all the answers I was giving me. (I hate when I do that. I should really take up lying to myself, I suspect I'd be a lot easier on me and probably like me better, but then I would probably catch myself in a lie and lose all respect for me, and really no one wants that, cause my integrity is one of the best things I have going for me.)
Somewhere between the hours of 4 and 7 though, a few things started to become really clear.
1. I needed to start DOING instead of thinking and planning. I have notebooks full of ideas, thoughts and dreams. I know that the "Law of Attraction" that is so popular these days says you just have to WANT things to come in to your life and they will; I call bullshit. I think you have to work for things to come in to your life. The whole "when opportunity meets preparedness" thing rings a little truer to me.
2. My life needs a little "pruning" so that I can focus my energies on the things that matter. Less time hanging out in situations I care little for and with people who could care less about me, and more time focusing on doing the things I love with the people who matter. Less time on the Facebook and Twitter, watching TV, and being a "consumer" and more time being a Creator. More time clearing out all the clutter, physical as well as emotional - to make room for the good things. Less time worrying about shit I can't control, more time paying attention to the things I CAN. More time learning about the world around me, less time judging things I don't understand.
3. I need to be practicing a whole lot more self discipline. Setting schedules and keeping them. Doing the steps it takes to reach all those goals I have. Going to bed at a decent hour and hitting snooze less often.
4. And finally, Holy Heck, my dog Koga farts a LOT in his sleep. Eww. Don't let that adorable face and shaggy coat fool you - he is stanky and you DO NOT want him curled up next to you.
Sooo, with all those revelations and a particularly hellacious fart on Koga's end - I jumped out of bed the earliest I have in months, threw the windows open wide and gasped for dear breath... once the miasma cleared... I smelled early morning wafting through the windows. I'd forgotten how much I like the smell of morning.
I'm more full of energy today than I have been in awhile - and in the first hour of my day I think I accomplished more than I did all DAY yesterday. Think I'm gonna try to and get used to this feeling. Wrap myself around it and enjoy it. It's one of those First days of the rest of my life, right? I should get on that... uhm, again.