********** Update****************
I put on my big girl panties and sent off my resume to CH2M Hill. I feel lighter. God I hope this works. I know I asked for way too much money, but I always feel like I undervalue myself so I get less than what I deserve. Good Luck to ME!!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Dear Universe:
I need a positive change. I am so thankful for the wonderful people I have in my life; a brilliant, creative, funny child, a handsome, loving boyfriend, friends and acquaintances who really seem to be there for me when I need them. I'm in a rut though, and I'm struggling. I hate where I'm working and that needs to change ASAP. I'm self sabotaging my body by refusing to get out and give it the exercise it needs. I get a handle on one part of the house, only to let another fall into near hopeless conditions. I'm eating healthier, but I'm still drinking too much and combined with the lack of exercise the scale just seems to creep up instead of down on a daily basis.
There is so much potential in me; but somehow, I feel blocked. I want to be a creator and not exclusively a consumer. I want to feel passionate about things again. There are so many cool things out there to explore and do. Yet, nightly, I return home after a miserable day at work and don't have the energy to do any of it. I waste my time on FB and Pinterest, looking at all the wonderful things other people do. Or watch Netflix til late so I can't even get good rest. Sheesh, I haven't even read a book in ages. I used to write almost daily. Now nothing.
I know I have to change. I know the change needs to come from me. I know that when those changes take hold things start to happen. I don't deserve good things to happen to me just because I'm not a bad person. Good things will start to happen when I start to make them happen. I know I can't manifest change to start tomorrow... but I can make positive steps towards it each day. I know you have sent possible help that I've ignored and frittered away. Like why have I STILL not sent my app in the CH2MHill?
If I want a new life, I have to create it. I have to embrace the good things going on in my life and give them more energy and power. Not waste my energy and power on the things that don't bring me any joy.
New goal. I'm going to stop beating myself up over things. I'm going to try and create something every day. Whether it's creating a nicer space for myself, a drawing, a painting, a blog, plans for the garden ... just one every day for now until it becomes a habit.
I need a positive change. I am so thankful for the wonderful people I have in my life; a brilliant, creative, funny child, a handsome, loving boyfriend, friends and acquaintances who really seem to be there for me when I need them. I'm in a rut though, and I'm struggling. I hate where I'm working and that needs to change ASAP. I'm self sabotaging my body by refusing to get out and give it the exercise it needs. I get a handle on one part of the house, only to let another fall into near hopeless conditions. I'm eating healthier, but I'm still drinking too much and combined with the lack of exercise the scale just seems to creep up instead of down on a daily basis.
There is so much potential in me; but somehow, I feel blocked. I want to be a creator and not exclusively a consumer. I want to feel passionate about things again. There are so many cool things out there to explore and do. Yet, nightly, I return home after a miserable day at work and don't have the energy to do any of it. I waste my time on FB and Pinterest, looking at all the wonderful things other people do. Or watch Netflix til late so I can't even get good rest. Sheesh, I haven't even read a book in ages. I used to write almost daily. Now nothing.
I know I have to change. I know the change needs to come from me. I know that when those changes take hold things start to happen. I don't deserve good things to happen to me just because I'm not a bad person. Good things will start to happen when I start to make them happen. I know I can't manifest change to start tomorrow... but I can make positive steps towards it each day. I know you have sent possible help that I've ignored and frittered away. Like why have I STILL not sent my app in the CH2MHill?
If I want a new life, I have to create it. I have to embrace the good things going on in my life and give them more energy and power. Not waste my energy and power on the things that don't bring me any joy.
New goal. I'm going to stop beating myself up over things. I'm going to try and create something every day. Whether it's creating a nicer space for myself, a drawing, a painting, a blog, plans for the garden ... just one every day for now until it becomes a habit.
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